Is this the worst movie ever made then? No. Why? Because it can't really even be considered a movie. It's just gahbidge. From beginning to end. Even the horrid Plan 9 From Outer Space, the infamously awful Ed Wood "masterpiece" is better in so many ways. Thankskilling is just confusing...why was it made? Did anyone make any money off it at least? Because there couldn't have been any artistic satisfaction gained from making it!

     Stay away from this movie unless you like watching horrible movies. I warn you though, even horrible movies are better than this 66 minute exercise in time wasting.

-Kurt L.

_______________________________________________________

     The concept of a killer doll had been around for a long time and was nothing new by the time Child's Play came out in 1988. It harkens back to the days of the original Twilight Zone series from the early 1960s, where they had episodes involving talking dummies with mal intent. Perhaps that's where Child's Play draws its inspiration because it certainly plays out, for at least the first half of the film, like a great episode of that famed spooky series.

     The original film in what became a progressively silly and more dark comedy sort of series, is a genuinely great horror film. It has all the suspense and tension that we've come accustomed to when watching horror flicks of this nature. It effectively builds the tension until its boiling point, and then it turns into more of a slasher film. By the time the great "secret" is revealed, I've already been so drawn into the film, that it didn't matter what happened next. Who cares if it evolved into a slasher film? It's a perfect Halloween movie! 

     The great "secret", and I suppose this isn't a major spoiler, is that the doll, Chucky, is alive! But it really isn't a surprise, as the opening of the film gives it away at the outset. A criminal on the run, who at near death, uses a voodoo spell to transfer his dying soul into the body of a doll. Obviously, this doll is possessed, and we know it. Somehow though, the build up to the moment is still a captivating one.

     The actors in the film definitely sell the concept well. Catherine Hicks plays the mother who bought the Chucky doll, and Alex Vincent is very convincing as the young boy who is tortured by it. Chris Sarandon is great as the cop who was hunting down the crazed criminal in the first place. And Chucky is voiced by none other than Brad Dourif, whose performance is fearless and manic as the famed horror icon. Chucky's dialogue is often menacing and sometimes his immensely foul mouth makes things hilarious.

     In retrospect, Child's Play contains an awful lot of exposition. There is a lot of explanation of the premise of the film, and one could argue that the opening sequence gives away the films biggest plot point instantly, but despite its flaws, it still makes for a memorable horror movie. It scares you, it draws you in, and gives you a little laugh here or there. It can sometimes be a little predictable, but overall, it is quite memorable. Like I said before, the first hour in particular is Twilight Zone-esque at its best. Naturally, this film inspired numerous sequels, but none really compared to the original.

-Kurt L.

____________________________________________________

      A match made in...Hell? Definitely. Freddy Vs. Jason has the grizzly fight scenes you've all been waiting for, it's just a shame theres tacky and poorly acted scenes in between them. This movie comes out a year after the horrible Jason X which took place in outer space, where Jason is....whatever! The plot is irrelevant. And the same goes for Freddy Vs. Jason, but at least it tries to put something coherent together, so I commend it for that at least.

     The story involves the diabolical Freddy up to his ususal dream haunting shananigans, and eventually he revives brutish hack and slasher Jason Voorhees and manipulates him to kill some teenagers. Jason doesn't like to be manipulated though and answers to know one, but he still manages to kill some teens before taking his rage out at Freddy. What the movie succeeds at is weaving in both the lore of the Nightmare on Elm Street films and the Friday the 13th franchises. It pays homage to both, but perhaps at times favors the Freddy angle; probably because the Elm Street plot line is a bit more dynamic than that of the Jason storyline. Either way, a lot of typical moments follow and you get exactly what you might expect. Lots of teens scream and frantically try to survive and stave off the impending doom by way of not trying to fall asleep, otherwise Freddy will come at them. But the real fun of the movie is when these two beasts clash.

     The vicious battles between two of some of the most enduring slasher baddies are great Halloween fare. They are bloody, gory, and utterly thrilling! You never know who is really going to win, as they both seem to have their own distinct abilities. With each character having a weakness and strength, the play between the two makes for a fun time.

     Obviously the only excuse for even making this movie was to have the two face off, but at least there is an attempt at story here. It's a much better movie than the last few Friday the 13th entries, and it should surely satisfy any horror movie fan, just as long as you don't mind sitting through the rest of it to get to the good stuff.

-Kurt L.

________________________________________________

     Released in 1939, Son of Frankenstein is the third installment in the Frankenstein series, and is the last of which where Boris Karloff dons the Frankenstein Monster make up (he would later appear in House of Frankenstein in 1944, but as the mad Dr. Neimann). Son of Frankenstein takes place in what seems to be a fairly modern day and age, as there are cars and trains readily available throughout the country, and the Frankenstein family themselves seem like they are of the new generation. However, when upon returning to the town of Frankenstein, it's as if time has not been as friendly or prosperous. Riddled with the horrors of the past by the "Monster", this town is indeed troubled. The "son" as the title indicates is Wolfgang Von Frankenstein, brilliantly portrayed by Basil Rathbone in one of his best performances of his lengthy career. His return to his roots is a difficult one as he faces a rather cold reception - clearly conveyed by the town Burgormeister (the Mayor) when he says, "We came to meet you, not to greet you."

     I don't want to delve too much more into the plot of this film, as you should see how it unravels for yourself. Needless to say, the Frankenstein family has a blood-stained past, one that is scarred with the curse of mettling in things men should leave alone - and the curse returns here, with Boris Karloff as the Monster. However, he is not acting alone here, he has a bizarre partner, a sphen-golly if you will, in Igor, played by Bela Lugosi. Lugosi arguably steals the show with his incredibly original portrayal of the twisted, broken-neck bodysnatcher. His performance is so riveting and unpredictable, it is indeed unforgettable. Igor's influence over the Monster is powerful, and can call unto him while playing his "weird horn." His insidious influence over the Monster is quite troubling and threatens the entire town.

     Along the way, Wolf Frankenstein is being mysteriously investigated by Inspector Krogh, played by Lionel Atwill. The tension he adds to the film is also quite riveting, adding a extra dose of suspence and uncertainty to the surroundings. Wolf and Krogh often duke it out with their words, and the tension only tightens as the film goes on. With Wolf being either investigated by Krogh on one side, and getting his proverbial arm twisted by Igor on the other, it adds a whole lot of dimension to the scenario. And while all of this mess is playing out, Wolf is trying to protect his family from it, all in the name of restoring his family's past to glory - but in some sense, he too succumbs to the curse, as he can't help but explore his scientific interest in the Monster. Wolf says a key line when he is first about to subject the Monster to some clinical tests, he says, "As a man, I should kill him, but as a scientist, I should explore him." What is also present, as you can see, an inner turmoil between his duties and loyalty to his family name, and the moral dilemma of actually destroying the horrid Monster.

     Son of Frankenstein is one of my favorite films of all time, easily in my Top 10. I can't stress enough how great this movie actually is, with all its mystery, great performances, unforgettable characters, expressionitic scenary, and quotable, biting dialogue, it is an undisputed classic, worthy of a place amongst the greats of this acclaimed genre. It is a film, that for me, has inspired me to have such a great interest in movies. I have seen it countless times, and undoubtedly, will see it countless more, and it never gets old. It is a true gem, from beginning to end. See for yourself, and behold the mystery and thrills that lie within!

-Kurt L.

___________________________________________________________

     This movie is horrendous! From beginning to end you'll be wondering why this terrible film was ever made. Jason X, the tenth installment on the historically poorly made series (aside from the first two films), is made nine years after its predecessor, Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday. My first question is what motivated any Hollywood studio to revive this dead horror franchise? Yes, the Friday The 13th franchise has been rather popular since its debut in 1980, but over the course of its run in the box office, the films quickly deterioated into the absurd and just plain rediculous gahbidge you would expect from a badly made horror flick. My second question is this: if you are going to revive this franchise, in an effort to reinvigorate it after nine years of silence, then why did you settle on this storyline? This incredibly tacky and just plain stupid concept of Jason killing people in outerspace in the year 2455! Really?! That's the best you can come up with?!

     Before I go any further, it should be stated that this film should not be taken seriously in any respect. Clearly, the storyline is awful, the acting for the most part is stiff and unconvincing, and the dialogue...yuck. There are tons of dumb cliches and idiotic lines spewing from all places, like that stupid teenager with the wily hair who gets his arm accidently chopped off by Jason's frozen machete only to get it back by the tricks of modern science - that character really irritated me. Speaking of cliches, there's the frisky teenagers who obviously get killed (or at least one of them does), and also the corrupt Professor. No horror flick is complete without a corrupt, evil-doing Professor who sidesteps issues and backstabs those around him at every turn. What motivated this Professor to turn so corrupt? Well, in one of the most unconvincing of delieveries of a line by any actor I've ever seen on film say, he said, "I need money." Wow. Just like that huh? Lame.

     To its credit though, Jason X does often mock the rediculousness that the franchise has come to been known for. So, fortunately, there are many times that this movie is self-aware of its cheesyness. For instance, toward the end, where we see Uber Jason - a half-human, half-genetically enhanced metallic Jason - he becomes trapped inside a simulation in an effort to distract Jason as the survivors escape. The simulation is that of Camp Crystal Lake where there are two scantilly clad girls who Jason ends up killing by slamming them about in their sleeping bags, which is paying a homage to Friday The 13th: Part VII's infamous "sleeping bag death scene." Also, there's this grizzled soldier aboard ship who gets stabbed in the back by Jason and he says, "you think a little poke in the ribs will stop this old dog?" Then Jason stabs him again, and he exclaims, "that ought to do it." A legitimately funny moment in the film, and its best line, but other than that, it's just plain silly.

     So, aside from a few blatantly silly lines, homages and parodies to and of previous installments of the franchise, Jason X is pretty unwatchable. I almost wanted to stop watching after the first half-hour because it was so terrible. It's a flick that should have favored the comedic side some more because it would have made it a lot more enjoyable. I feel that it wanted to be both scary and silly, but in the end, failed to achieve either, compromising both aspects. Clearly with the outrageous storyline, the film couldn't have been taken seriously at all, so, why not make it a little more funny then? Well, it's over now in any case. And to no one's surprise, more Jason movies have been released since this one.

     If you're a big time horror/slasher movie fan...I still don't think you'll like Jason X. Avoid it at all costs.

-Kurt L.

_______________________________________________________