This game is a mess. What is it? Maru's Mission is a Game Boy game made back in 1991 that no one remembers. I'm surprised I remembered it enough to review here on Ethos. This is a game embodies many qualities that will repulse the player.

     The graphics are not the worst, but often look too dark and become difficult to see - even when you adjust the brightness on the Game Boy itself, it's not easy to look at. The story is uninspired, cliched, and not very compelling. Perhaps the worst aspect of this game is its gameplay. It is a side-scrolling platforming game, and the main character, Maru, shoots a projectile - simple enough. However, it is so confusing, and boring. It's a game that isn't sloppy, but it's just not good. It doesn't give off the vibe of a game that was slapped together, but it is simply a bad game - with poorly made choices by the developers. I can't get over how horrendous the gameplay really is, and the bizarrely executed health system, which seems that after each hit you take, your health is drained in a random numerical fashion.

     The only fairly commendable quality is the sound. The music is moody and interesting, and the sound effects articulate the action pretty well. Unfortunately, the music and sound in this game only acts as an auditory reinforcement of what I'm actually playing - and that is this gahbidge game. I know that when I hear the audio of this game, I am playing the dreadful Maru's Mission.

     On top of being an awful game in so many ways, the icing on the cake is that it is punishingly hard - it's the awkward design and terrible gameplay that often contribute to the insurmountable difficulty. So, while already a bad game from so many different persectives, Maru's Mission is rendered virtually unplayable because of many of its innate issues. And how can a game be unplayable? That's an oxymoron. You play a game!! How can a game exist that is unplayable? Well, I've found it! Maru's Mission is that game.

     I know, I know, there are worse games out there; E.T., for Atari 2600 and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for NES come to mind, but those were beyond horrible - they are at least memorable because of their legendary and notorious infamy. What separates Maru's Mission from those bombs is that Maru's Mission is a forgettable experience. Nobody remembers it, and nobody will. Hopefully by writing this review, I will have purged this game from my memory and it will be lost in the abyss of nothingness, where it ultimately belongs.

-Kurt L.

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