Now Playing: Xenophobe (1988)
Topic: Nintendo (NES)
The NES library contains approximately 800 games or so, and let's face it, as much as we love the classic gaming console, it certainly features its fair share of bombs. Not every game on the system could be Legend of Zelda, Super Mario Bros. 3, or Contra. Sometimes there are games like Dash Galaxy and the Alien Asylum, Friday The 13th The Game, or here in this case, Xenophobe, that make you truly appreciate the aforementioned great games. Xenophobe is another fine example of an NES-mess. A game that is lost in the annals of time, and that is eventually left to decay in the basement somewhere.
Not to knock the NES in any way possible, as it is one of, if not my personal favorite console of all time, but like I said, it had numerous stinkers in addition to its timeless classics. Xenophobe is a game wastes a perfectly good alien butt-kicking premise and turns it into an ugly, slow, boring, confusing disaster. The character designs look hideous, the graphics are bright sure, but are horribly bland in nature. The gameplay is weak and uninspired. The level design is the classic one-screen-at-a-time sort, harkening back to Pitfall! on the Atari 2600, but fails to capture or captilize on a simple mechanic such as that. It just leaves the player confused on where to go - as everything just seems too vague in this game. Once you get far enough anyway, you'll be so terribly bored, you won't want to keep on going - nor care. There are so many betters games out there.
Xenophobe could have been a great game, as it has a pretty cool title (as it means "a fear of aliens"), and game box looks very enticing with an awesome looking angry alien on the cover - clearly inspired by the Alien film series. However, that is where the charm ends. Oh, and maybe one of the characters in the game being a duck named Dr. Kwack will provide a quick chuckle, but otherwise, that is it. On a side note, this game is made by Sunsoft, which is a rather respectable gaming company - but even a good company can release a bad product I suppose. I mean, Konami made Laser Invasion after all.
The game has a two-player feature, which makes the game more playable, and to its credit, that's fine. But why would one player, let alone two, want to waste their time with this game? If you want a great game that has two-players simultaneously playing together, then play Contra, Super C, River City Ransom, Battletoads, or a Double Dragon game.
So if I keep spewing hate about this game, then why do I bother reviewing it? Well, it's my job here at Ethos to review games, music albums, or movies, both good and bad - but ultimately my goal here is to have this review act as a deterrent. To implore you, the reader, the gamer, or whomever it may concern, to stay away, far away, from this wretched game. You'll be much better off if you haven't played this.
-Kurt L.
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